Lesley Understands
It was the moment we always knew was coming with Lesley but hoped it never did. We were putting Lesley to bed last night when she rolled over and told us,
"I want Cassie, please".
You could almost hear our hearts breaking again. Over and over she would say, "I want Cassie, please," "Where's Cassie?" and "Where'd Cassie Go?" Daria and I have always been up front with Lesley, never talking down to her and never using euphamisms for death. We've always told Lesley that Cassandra died, that she's not coming back, and none of it was in any way Lesley's fault. But tonight Lesley wouldn't let us off the hook that easily. 
We explained again and again what had happened, but it wasn't enough. What was so painful this time wasn't her questions so much as it was the anguish in her voice. Lesley wanted to know where her best friend was and she wasn't going to stop asking until she knew. In her own way Lesley was able to sum up all of our feelings in that most beautiful, straightforward way that kids do."I want Cassie, please."
posted by Todd Akers @ 8:11 PM
1 comments
1 Comments:
This was the saddest moment for me so far. It is one thing knowing my pain but it is so much harder seeing Lesley hurting so much.
I just don't know what to tell her. Todd and I know what death is but we still do not understand. It is almost like Lesley thinks if she asks correctly (Please Mom) we will magically make Cassie appear again and we can return to the happy family we once were.
Oh how I wish it was that easy.
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