The Worst Day
Tomorrow will be one full year since Cassandra died. I'm going too be to emotional and too broken up tomorrow to post anything, so I'm going to do it now.
It doesn't seem like a year. Memories of Cassie, her touch, her smell, her giggle, are too close in my mind. The horror of the surgery, the hospital stay, and her death are right on the edge of my conciousness. Every day since then has taken me one day further away from when I held her last, and one day further along this awful, lonely journey as I try to cope with living life without my daughter.
I know I will never forget her, and maybe one day this won't hurt so much, but I type this with a picture of Cassie on her birthday as my laptop wallpaper and I can't help but want to reach into that picture and touch her soft cheek, tickle her chin, and tell her that I love her so.
Daria and I are going to spend the day together at home tomorrow working in our front yard planting a memorial garden for Cassandra. Hopefully it will keep our minds and bodies occupied while we do something to honor Cassie's memory.
Please keep Daria, Lesley, me, and most of all Cassandra Anne in your thoughts tomorrow.
posted by Todd Akers @ 2:03 PM
3 comments
3 Comments:
Cassie Boo my sweet sweet bunny baby. I will always love you. You changed me in ways I could never imagine. I am proud that I was your mom and I know I did everything I could to help you. You will ALWAYS be a part of our family and we will never forget you.
I think of you guys often, but I'll remember you even more tomorrow. Love you all.
This blogg is a great thing to have to honor her, your family and share what you guys are going through. We have started a foundation for our Mazzy called the Mazzy Kaya Foundation. www.mazzykaya.com and it has given me something to keep doing, keep pushing for to honor her and touch other’s lives. This blogg is something I wanted to add to her site, it’s still under a bit of construction. It’s hard to work on it. Take a lot out of you when you sit down and try to write up content for it. Sigh…. Anyway it was good to meet you and I hope to keep in touch!
Selina Farmer-Williams
TCF PWC
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