My Sweet Cassandra

The Worst Day

Tomorrow will be one full year since Cassandra died. I'm going too be to emotional and too broken up tomorrow to post anything, so I'm going to do it now.

It doesn't seem like a year. Memories of Cassie, her touch, her smell, her giggle, are too close in my mind. The horror of the surgery, the hospital stay, and her death are right on the edge of my conciousness. Every day since then has taken me one day further away from when I held her last, and one day further along this awful, lonely journey as I try to cope with living life without my daughter.

I know I will never forget her, and maybe one day this won't hurt so much, but I type this with a picture of Cassie on her birthday as my laptop wallpaper and I can't help but want to reach into that picture and touch her soft cheek, tickle her chin, and tell her that I love her so.

Daria and I are going to spend the day together at home tomorrow working in our front yard planting a memorial garden for Cassandra. Hopefully it will keep our minds and bodies occupied while we do something to honor Cassie's memory.

Please keep Daria, Lesley, me, and most of all Cassandra Anne in your thoughts tomorrow.